Thursday, March 31, 2011

We Are Friends. We Will Always Be Friends.

This weekend-only blogger is posting on a Thursday. Hurray for me! I wanted to post these photos and maybe try to cheer my friend, Karen, up in the process. 

Karen is going through a rough patch lately and I am at a loss as to how to be of some use to her. I figured I'd just share this snippet from one of my favorite historical romance books, Love in the Afternoon when the heroine, Beatrix, was talking about a three-legged cat named Lucky to the hero's Earl grandfather:

   "Why did you name her Lucky?" Annandale asked.

   "I hoped it would change her fortunes."

   "And did it?"

   "Well, she's sitting in the lap of an earl, isn't she?" Beatrix pointed out, and Annandale laughed outright. 

   He touched the cat's remaining paw. "She is fortunate to have been able to adapt."

   "She is determined," Beatrix said. "You should have seen the poor thing, not long after the amputation. She kept trying to walk on the missing leg, or jump down from a chair, and she would stumble and lose her balance. But one day, she woke up and seemed to have accepted the fact that the leg was gone for good. And she became nearly as agile as before." She added significantly, "The trick was forgetting about what she had lost...and learning to go on with what she had left."

It takes time to get over tribulations. Everything might not be easy but there is a reason why you are a stronger person now, Karen. 

I still remember our St. Genevieve days when that blasted teacher's table nearly broke my hand. While I was writhing in agony, you were there, teary-eyed and worried about my increasingly swelling hand. And you accompanied me to the school clinic. And I had to go to the excruciating task of explaining the details of the mishap to the school principal. 

And I remember when you weren't able to finish your dozen or so Sulating Pormal. And I was there to write it for you. And you let me, although you knew I suck as a writer.

You know we're going to stick with you, right? Others might come and go, but here we are. As steadfast and as stable as always no matter how many days of not seeing each other can go by.

Waaah! I love my friends to bits which is why I'm turning into a sentimental idiot. I can't imagine my world without them. I have since limited my social circle - getting in touch only with my closest friends. I'm not shunning acquaintances away or letting go of the opportunity of meeting new people that might turn out to have a huge contribution to my life but I'm just trying to keep things simple. I'm trying to hold on to what is really important.

So anyways, since I have been suffering from a differnet case of senioritis (me feeling old what with all my cousins, who I used to baby sit in the past, are now graduating from school), I figured I might as well give a tribute to my 12-year friendship streak with these people:

contrived photo

 This is the reason why they call the place El Grotto

Before heading home, we decided to split the leftovers. haha! We got the boon since we were the ones who didn't leave early.

That be me worming (or swimming) my way towards the end of the pool whilst hanging on the edges for dear life. I can't swim which was why Myk tormented me to no end the previous night!

Sunday, March 27, 2011

Summer Is Here!!

Just got back from our Summer outing/reunion 2011. I feel like one of my the Sims characters when their energy level is turning red. Will probably be posting more photos soon. But in the mean time, gotta catch more sleep. :)

Friday, March 25, 2011

She Used To Like Many Things And Many People

"Well, I've been afraid of changin' 'cause I built my life around you. But time makes you bolder. Children get older and I'm getting older too..."- Landslide, Dixie Chicks

Funny how everyday seems so mundane and repetitive with your routine running like clockwork and with your same old tasks done in the same old efficient ways. But when you really care to look back, you'd realize many things have changed. 

You'd start to marvel how swiftly and cunningly time sneaked up on you. Without realizing it, you have become an adult - one inundated with problems, responsibilities and expectations. And after a while, you start to figure out that you have changed into the kind of person you have always struggled not to become. 

The paradox of life proves itself right yet again.

I myself have fallen prey to the changes that have a tendency to circumspectly develop. 

For one thing, I no longer drink liters of apple juice like I used to when I was in college. I have since switched to drinking iced tea and milk.

I have fallen apart with friends who used to be steadfast and constant. My katsaridophobia has magnified tenfold. And I constantly find myself wondering what the heck I have seen in former crushes.

As in everything else in this world, I have changed. And change has a way of delving into the marrows of your bones no matter how hard you try to resist it. The big things, the little things - they are bound to be different a few minutes, a few days, a few years from now. Nature, along with time, will run its course.

So I guess it is natural not to want the same things you did when you were younger. It is normal to fall apart with people. But it doesn't mean that the past is irrelevant.

Those moments were real perhaps to your 18-year old self. It was still you - only more foolish, more gullible. Less informed. Less jaded. Less a cynic. 

If you have reached this part of my post, console yourself because you have just wasted a fraction of your time with my endless, not to mention, useless musings. haha! I've been feeling a bit melancholic lately. Melancholic, i stress out. Not lonely. Just a bit on the contemplative mood. 

If I can only pack my bags and catch the earliest flight to join the monks in Tibet, I will. But since I can't, and I am not even sure if they are accepting female monks in Tibet,  I might as well just use my blog to do a bit of soliloquy. 

Anyhoo, this was what I wore this day. It's my i'm-too-lazy-and-too-tired-of-wearing-dresses-to-find-anything-decent-to-wear-today. The pair of trousers is definitely too big for me because it belonged to my mother. 

I know, I know. What was I doing wearing stuff from my mom's closet? Well, the thing is, I have a fetish for anything vintage or taken from older people's closet. They actually have the most well-made clothes. 

What is even better is that the whole ensemble is very comfortable. Even the tassled flats felt comfortable today. 

Wore a low hair bun ala korean style to punctuate the laid-back look of today. And can you see my pink bow earrings? 

The clothes aren't the only agreeable ones today. The weather was good. Neither too hot nor too cold. My kind of weather. :)

So anyway, will be spending tomorrow and most likely the better part of Sunday with my friends! Will post pictures after. :)

Saturday, March 19, 2011

A Duo Of Geeks

I want to put off writing about the photos for a moment to make way for a bit of soliloquy (or whatever it is poets label the act of talking to one's own self without giving heed to listeners). I've been pondering all day (and apparently I am not yet done pondering) why most men think that women who try to dress up or attempt to prettify themselves are out to get their attention.

I mean seriously?

Not all women who like to dress up are desperate for attention. Not all of them would like men to drop by their haunches and worship the very pavement that they tread on. Not all women like men to pant after them like a lovesick puppy while they walk by.

Trust me when I say that about 80% of women who like to dress up actually dress up for themselves.

For themselves, you hear me? Not for men.

Most women who are not just into fashion but also into style like dressing up and styling what they are wearing because they want to channel their creativity.

They like to dress up because it makes them feel good inside. And when they feel good inside, it makes their world a better place to live in. It promotes positivity and good vibes--at least until someone insinuates that they are trying to make themselves look good for the sole purpose of attracting the attention of men.

Jeez. You and your monumental ego.

Okay, before I verbally clobber someone senseless, I might as well talk about the photos.

This be my friend Jemalyn who is in town for a few weeks of vacay. We've been scouring for a quiet, private (we being anti-socials) resort where we can hang out some time this weekend.

We decided to check out a private resort recommended by my sister. We surmised it is owned by a politician judging from the red plate on the car parked in the owner's garage nearby.

The place, although still fairly new and with a lot more improvements to be made, is already breathtaking as it is - at least for me since I have always been fond of breezy, mountainy, close-to-nature places. I'm not really such a huge fan of beaches, though I live close to the beach.

One day I'll probably regret that I have been taking the beach of granted. But I guess for now, I'll have to indulge my love for flowers, trees and grass.

Forgive the overexposed photos, yet again. Photographer wasn't in the mood to photograph or whatever so he didn't go the extra mile in tweaking the camera's settings so there you go...

I'm cross right now so you are probably not in good company. A couple of people (probably) unwittingly and unintentionally made my day a bit trying. And all I want to do right now is crawl like a wounded bear to my bed, bury my head under a pillow, prop my leg on my bolster and just forget the world.

Friday, March 18, 2011

Grassy Fields and Windows

I want to read historical romance novels like how I did when I was still in high school. I'd finish one book in one sitting, diligently poring over the pages and pages of make-believe love story between a medieval knight/lord and a lady/damsel in distress. 

I want to sing Sara Barreilles love song like there's no tomorrow. I want to stuff my stomach with cancer-inducing street foods until someone accuses me of being a glutton. I want to spend every waking moment of my life with people I love, doing mundane things.

But the problem is, we rarely do get to do and have what we want. Even the most trivial things on our "want" list can often times seem a little elusive. 

And just last week, I wanted to take good photos but I couldn't. 

My idea of a good photo is one taken outdoors. I was feeling a little under the weather and my photographer wasn't in a directing mood so the photos these past few weeks were like blah.

Anyhoo, I actually like overexposed photos. Which is probably why I'm pretty drawn towards SLR photographers. You know, those photographers that still make use of good old films? 

Even their worst overexposed or underexposed photos turn out pretty amazing. I like the quirkiness of it. I like how it cannot be captured again in the same way and in the same form of another photographer. 

I don't claim to be a photographer--just an appreciator of pretty things photographed. And I am lucky I have a boyfriend who never gets tired to get pretty photos of my clothes/outfits. But anyway...

This post is yet again another proof of my fragmented train of thoughts. I really can't keep my thoughts organized to save my life. And ironically, I call myself a writer. 

So anyway, a quick info about this vintage-inspired outfit. Lace top (unbranded), midi skirt (Bread and Butter), loafers and bag (which I managed to wait for the price to lower down so I got it for just 200 php! score!) are all thrifted. I can live in thrift stores and not get bored. T___T. What is wrong with me? T___T. 

Thrift finds simply have more character than new clothes, don't you think? Plus, you'll get to contribute to the preservation of Mother Nature because all those pretty clothes will not go to waste. :)

Sunday, March 13, 2011

Tired Of Always Being On The Defensive

I find my smile getting awkwarder and awkwarder. By any chance, have you, my dear reader, noticed? 

A few hours ago, I was trying to come up with an articulate post on how sad I feel about the tragedy that struck Japan. But no words can apparently describe the magnitude of Japan's loss. 

There were a lot of pleas for prayers. But at that moment, praying was the last thing on my mind. I was just staring at the television screen in slack-jawed disbelief over the massive tsunami that hit Japan. Being renowned for their ability to create the niftiest gadgets, I was half expecting they'd pull out a gear or two up their sleeves and deflect the tsunami like a waterproof coat deflecting raindrops. But as it turned out, they are no more invulnerable to the forces of nature than the rest of the world. 

I grieve for the loss of life. I couldn't fathom how painful and how devastating it must be to lose family members, loved ones and dear friends all in the blink of an eye. I can't even imagine how one can begin to move on from there.

It puts everything into perspective. Rather than pray, I found myself contemplating on a myriad of things--mostly about life and death. I mean it's not everyday that you get to see a tsunami wash away a whole city live on national television. It is life-altering. 

But death is not something uncommon.

We see it on the news every single day. Not as graphic but death all the same. 

The massive loss the world experienced over the past few months is nothing short of astounding. 

To say that people are now dreading the comeuppance that is expected to arrive full force in 2012 is an understatement. But have we forgotten? There really is no assurance in life and death, is there? Some people don't even get to live past 16.

Tragedies - they are wake-up calls for us to stop living like soulless automatons and start getting a real life - one with more meaning. More purpose.

If we truly wanted to do all those who perished in natural tragedies these past few weeks and months justice, all we can do is start living our life in a more purposeful way. Not as humans who merely exist under the dictatorship of the society. 

Here I am again with my endless preaching. I am sorry if i bore the crap out of you. I felt like venting today because of some people who have a mindset as narrow as a fishing rod. But I figured I shouldn't waste even half a minute of my day wasting my time on people who clearly do not wish to be anything other than being their old crappy self. So there you go. If you are reading this and you know that it is you, I'm letting you be a nuisance to yourself.

More than a couple of people said this ensemble look J-pop-esque. It wasn't intentional. I still have a bit of hang-over over Kim Tae Hee's fabulous outfits in My Princess.

I finally had a chance to meet my US-based friend Jemalyn. We had fun scouring thrift stores and taunting each other over our spending habits. She ended up with a pile of cutesy stuff and I ended up with this top and pair of shoes. Lovely. I miss hanging out with my closest friends. In this day and age, all you can do is spend a lot of time with people who you care most about and dispense with the trifling and inconsequential things.

Sunday, March 6, 2011

Can You Tell Me More Sweet Nothings?

And here goes another Cristin O'Keefe Aptowicz (her last name is a mouthful) masterpiece. 
After Reading Old Unrequited Love Poems

If I didn’t think it’d make me appear crazy still,
I’d apologize to you for having been so crazy then.

Reading the poems I had written about “us”
resurrected all that nervous heat, reminded me
of the insistent stutter of my longing,
how I could never just lay it out there for you.

The answer, clearly, would have been
no, thank you. But perhaps that tough line
would have been enough to salvage all
that was good and woolly about us: your laugh,
that golden ring I’d always stretch a story for;
the pair of mittens we’d split in the cold

so we’d each have a hand to gesture with;
how even now, the paths we took are filled

with starry wonder and all that bright limitless air.

I’m sorry I could never see myself

out of the twitching fever of my heartache,
that I traded everything we had for something

that never ended up being. But if I could take
any of it back, it wouldn’t be the glittering hope
 I stuck in the amber of your eyes, nor would
it be the sweet eager of our conversations.

No, it would be that last stony path to nothing,
when we both gave up without telling the other.

How silence arrived like a returned valentine
that morning we finally taught our phones not to ring.


Have you ever found yourself out of breath, gasping, for the sheer exertion of racing after time? I have. It would seem like the past few weeks have been nothing short of hectic. 

A minute feels like half. A day feels like an hour.

In the morning, I would doze off after hitting the snooze button, futilely putting off the inevitable. After what feels like a second, my alarm clock would start prodding my brain to finally face the day, albeit reluctantly. It's a bit ironic how I would find myself at the end of the day, crawling to my bed in utter exhaustion, like a wounded animal and wake up in the morning pretty much doing the same thing.

But enough about the whole i-desperately-need-to-hibernate drama. 

I've been saving this whole ensemble for the longest time now. I called upon the girly-girly forces hovering around me and finally made myself wear it before the ensemble gets buried under piles of clothes in my closet. So there you go--my "my princess-esque", lacey-lacey, girly-girly outfit.

PS: I badly need to lose weight. Any healthy suggestions?


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