I'm On A Roll

"I can believe things that are true and things that aren't true and I can believe things where nobody knows if they're true or not.

I believe that mankind's destiny lies in the stars. I believe that candy really did taste better when I was a kid, that it's aerodynamically impossible for a bumble bee to fly, that light is a wave and a particle, that there's a cat in a box somewhere who's alive and dead at the same time (although if they don't ever open the box to feed it it'll eventually just be two different kinds of dead), and that there are stars in the universe billions of years older than the universe itself.

I believe in a personal god who cares about me and worries and oversees everything I do. I believe in an impersonal god who set the universe in motion and went off to hang with her girlfriends and doesn't even know that I'm alive. I believe in an empty and godless universe of causal chaos, background noise, and sheer blind luck.

I believe in absolute honesty and sensible social lies. I believe in a woman's right to choose, a baby's right to live, that while all human life is sacred there's nothing wrong with the death penalty if you can trust the legal system implicitly, and that no one but a moron would ever trust the legal system.

 

I believe that life is a game, that life is a cruel joke, and that life is what happens when you're alive and that you might as well lie back and enjoy it." - Neil Gaiman, American Gods

 I'm really not reading anything. hoho. Contrived much?

Neil Gaiman is my personal literary hero. No one can be as jaded while simultaneously being inspiring as Neil Gaiman. If only I can be half as inspiring as he is, I can probably save the drunkards in my neighborhood from their impending doom.  

But anyway, I was planning on posting this some time next week since I don't like to be a weekend-only-blogger...but what the hey! There's no difference anyways. And I promised myself I'm never letting social norms and expectations eat me alive. So there you go. A new blog post.

And by some unadulterated miracle, my ability to put words together is finally coming back. Imagine that. I have to tell you my secret. Empanda. You know, that orange thing filled with papaya, egg and longganisa deep-fried in oil. It has to be eaten with spicy sukang iloko. It will rev up your brain like no other.

Now that I can think far more clearly, I have arrived to a tentative decision. I'm going to quit lookbook. haha! I haven't had much success gaining hypes or whatever it is you have to gain from there. And I just discovered that Lookbook pretty much filters outfit posts from users with a comparatively low Karma. I don't get it. The whole purpose of posting outfits is to gain more Karma. If they're not going to show your photos to all users, how in the world are you going to get more Karma?

So my tiny world is going to get significantly tinier with me inconspicuously being MIA in lookbook. Not that my absence is going to be missed.

Moving on, if you have noticed, this blog underwent a few changes. How do you like the new layout so far? I don't claim to be a graphic guru but I hope this new layout is good enough for you to want to come back to my blog. T__T

About the outfit:

I'm really not in the habit of checking back labels. I go thrift shopping a lot. Like 2 times a month or more. And I buy in bulk. I know! It's crazy. But that's the beauty of thrifting. You can shop sans the guilt. You can buy very cheap items. Most of them are still in good condition. 

outer: blazer, thrifted

inner: lace top, thrifted

shorts: bubble polka dot shorts, thrifted

hair accessory: lace made into a headband

Never Let Me Go

"I keep thinking about this river somewhere, with the water moving really fast. And these two people in the water, trying to hold onto each other, holding on as hard as they can, but in the end it's just too much. The current's too strong. They've got to let go, drift apart. That's how I think it is with us. It's a shame, Kath, because we've loved each other all our lives. But in the end, we can't stay together forever." - Never Let Me Go, Kazuo Ishiguro

 

 

I've been meaning to watch Never Let Me Go for the longest time but I just can't seem to squeeze it in my weekly schedule. I heard it's a great movie. Plus Andrew Garfield is there. Andrew Garfield. I've been kinda cyberstalking him lately.

To be honest, I can't think of anything decent to blog about today. I wanted to go on and on about how exhausting the past few days have been but I have been yapping about that since time immemorial. It's pretty much insignificant now. 

So, in lieu of inspirational words, I'll just be posting photos from my recent trip to Myk's place. 

 Yes. I can speak Tree language.

 A few hours after wearing heels, i switch to flipflops. I fail as a woman.

Outfit Details:

outer - long stripey vest, thrifted

inner - short black dress with gray tulle piping, thrifted

bow tie - hand-made

clogs - EBay

Me And My Endless Insecurities

I am summoning the vestiges of my energy as I write this. I have been undergoing conventional non-pharmacological, old folks-approved treatment for my fibrocystic disease. Since a part of me abhor the idea of my skin being sliced into ribbons, i chose the non-invasive way of treating this bodily problem.

I absolutely loathe diseases of any kind. Back when I was still in school, I kind of liked the idea of skipping classes because of cramps or headache. But that's mainly because I can watch Doraemon and Detective Conan and avoid the teachers that have the uncanny ability to make me shrink in absolute terror. These days, with all the things that will surely pile up if I so much as skip a day of work, being sick is something I can ill-afford. I hope this blasted illness will go away for good.

Moving on. These are the photos Myk has managed to take last Saturday. To be honest, I wasn't too psyched over the idea of posting these photos. I didn't like a lot of things. I hate my limp, two-toned hair. I was supposed to have a Tae Yeon-inspired hair style this day. Unfortunately, there was a whole day power interruption and I didn't get a chance to crimp my hair. I also hate my pudgy-looking cheeks and nose. I hate my wolfish grin. I hate my in-your-face eye bags. The list goes on and on.

And then it hit me.

When have I started to hate myself because of the way I look? When have I patterned my standards to those of what I see on loobook, chictopia, fashion blogs and fashion magazines? The truth is, I have been working so hard to be on that level. Now I realized I have lost a big part of who I really am in the process. And that's when I started to pick on myself and relentlessly find faults.

How utterly pathetic.

Starting today, I'm going to post photos and write blog entries that depict the good and the bad side of me. To hell with pleasing others and gaining more followers. The whole blogging business is all about unleashing that part of you that you don't usually let the rest of the world see on a daily basis. There's no sense posting things that you think others might appreciate if you yourself don't really appreciate it.

Starting today, I am going to get down to the root of blogging. If that means I'm going to post more of my two-toned hair, my pudgy nose and cheeks and my wolfish grin, then so be it.

I am going to stop being pressured into looking pristine and perfect. I can't be those things. It's sad that I wasted a lot of my time trying to be those things. Forgive my blunder. I am only human.

I'm going to blog about the things I love. Mundane things. Ugly things. Pretty things. Photos of me. Photos of Myk. Photos of my unconventional family. Photos of my closest friends. Photos of my amateur textile work. You get the picture.

Okay, short self-indulgent speech ends here.

I wore my hand-made polka-dotted bow tie. I found it so freakin' adorable that I didn't want to take it off. The whole ensemble looked so preppy. This blue striped blazer finally had a chance to shine. I have been keeping it in my closet for a few weeks now. I thrifted this last year for only 30 php! Arguably my cheapest find!

Before 2010 ended, I hoarded a lot of blazers, and polka-dotted stuff, and dresses. And now that spring (I delude myself into thinking that we have spring season here in the Philippines) is just around the corner, I have to unearth my floral stuff and push my thick blazers and cardigans to the back part of my burgeoning closet.

I'm planning to wear DIY floral clothes too. Crossing my fingers that they won't end up looking tacky.

My eyelids are literally closing now so I am going to take mercy on you and save you the needless boredom of having to read my rants.

Anyway, I hope everyone had a great weekend! Look forward to a happy, negativity-free week, yeah?

A Pocketful Of Sunshine

As I write this entry, I marvel at the comforts one can find in pajamas and wonder why we can't wear them 24/7. The fashion industry must be cringing at my idea of a pajama-wearing society. But truly, PJs, especially during bed weather are pretty much indispensable.

News got to me that there's going to be a power interruption in our town this Saturday. Because the weather has been undeniably warm these past few days, I wished for a cooler temperature for Saturday. Boy, did I get what I wished for.

The weather looked pretty good early this morning until dark clouds started hovering. A few minutes later, the wind turned high and rain started pelting. Our small neighborhood quickly turned like the setting in one of those apocalypse movies. Like there's a UFO waiting to annihilate the human race or change the world as we know it or something. The weather was odd and crazy. But then, when hasn't it been odd and crazy, I wonder?

Perceiving that it's going to be like that the whole day, I went to my room and made this:

It's my very first teru teru bouzu. This is actually an amulet popularized by Japanese people. If you are a manga, anime, j-dorama aficionado, you've probably seen this little ghost-like doll. It's supposed to stop or prevent bad weather. To it's credit, the rain actually stopped a few minutes after hanging it. But the wind was still pretty high. I blame that on the creepy facial expression of my teru teru bouzu. Fail. haha!

Birthday party went well regardless. But the weather proved to be a roadblock in taking decent photos. So I only came up with these:

I had to do a whole lot of editing, as you might have noticed. I didn't intentionally make them look like the pages of Popteen magazine. Funny how they came out that way. At least, I think they came out that way. I totally suck at editing.


Before I end this post, I would like to thank all the lovely and kind people who took the time to send me a birthday greeting. You all made me feel so well-loved! Spewing hearts! <3 <3 <3

Don't Count The Age, Count The Experiences

I can't believe I'm turning 25 in just a few more hours. This is going to be my last post as a 24-year old girl (yes, I still consider myself a girl, can you blame me?). Saying goodbye to my 24th year feels somewhat like reading the last book of Harry Potter. You don't want to let go but you have to. Because the only way you are going to grow and become a better person is if you move forward.

Funny how I'm talking like I'm some kind of a sage. I'm not. It's just that this year has been sort of an eye-opener. My life has been pretty sheltered. I've never really been the recipient of tragic life experiences(thank God!) and I've never really known real, honest-to-goodness hardships (except for a few nicks here and there). Part of me feels like I'm missing out something big in life. But a bigger part of me also knows that it's just the way you live it. Most of us have been so caught up chasing bigger dreams that we actually take the little things for granted.

Working at home has taught me to take pleasure in the less-than-stellar happenings in my life--good food, fast internet connection, idle conversations and more family time. I have even come to love the beauty of angry, destructive storms! And perhaps those are the very reasons why I have come to appreciate the eventful moments--homecomings, dates, get-togethers, what-have-you.

Don't get me wrong. This small town girl also have big dreams. I dream of a bigger house with a bigger closet. I dream of out-of-town trips and endless thrifting escapades. I dream of fine dining and sight-seeing. But I guess unlike other people, I don't really have the relentless drive to keep on pursuing them. I just take it one day at a time and see where it leads me. I make calculated steps and I always, always, always choose the easier road. This unhurried pace has actually opened my eyes to other remarkable ventures.

I remember what it was like about 8 years ago. One of my college blockmates told me I don't have the chops to be courted by guys. Because 1.) I look like a freakin' kid 2.) I talk like a kid 3.) I act like a kid.

I remember being so put out and annoyed by what that guy told me. I wasn't really interested in relationships back then so I thought the comment was a little uncalled for. But that's fine. At least I got to know what others thought about me.

Now that I'm turning 25, I still couldn't say goodbye to that child-like me. My 12-year old self has retained somewhere in the recesses of my soul. It's like Voldemort's horcrux in Harry (lol at the analogy). And frankly speaking, I don't really get what the hoopla about growing up and acting all ladylike and refined is all about. For one thing, it doesn't have entertainment value. And you are practically putting a leash to the real you.

I'm glad I didn't listen to him and started changing myself right then and there. Because growing up is a gradual process. It will always be. It doesn't just hit you full-force when you turn 18. You have to keep on learning and keep on experiencing to tame the child in you.

I miss that 18-year old giggly girl. But she'll always have a chance to resurface even after 25 more years. I like the idea of being 25, independent, head-strong and capable. But I also like the idea that I can be with kids and feel like I'm one of them. After all, it's the levity that keeps us all going.

So happy birthday to me. All I wish for is 50 more years of happiness, abundance, peace and harmony with the people that I love. If you are reading this, you are most likely one of them.

PS: If you love me and this blog, be a follower :) Just use your google account. Call it my birthday present.

Be Happy In Stealth

I was supposed to post this last night but cityville got in the way and before I knew it, it was already 11 pm and I was yawning every other minute. I haven't been playing Facebook games for a long time and I finally succumbed to the popularity of cityville and decided to try it out. Needless to say it is an addicting game. It will enamor you and take you away from your duties. Count yourself warned.

So anyway, this was what I wore yesterday.

It's just my i-can't-think-of-anything-to-wear-right-now outfit. My creative juice was running in short supply and no amount of inspiration can fill it up yesterday. The skirt was actually the first skirt I have ever made. It was originally an ankle-length piece I got from the thrift store. I gave it to my cousin and took it back yesterday and bribed her with an old pair of gladiator shoes I have only worn once. haha!

And since we are on the subject of sewing, I have news. I have decided to start sewing again--or more accurately start altering thrift and vintage finds.

clearly contrived photo

I figured I'm going to start with this vintage find I got from the thrift store a few weeks back. 

I'm a sucker for 1950's fashion. And I am endeavoring to channel that penchant for this era this year. I have been fashion-confused for the longest time and I think it's about time I end up having a signature style. I'm planning to alter this dress into a 1950's-inspired dress. Wish me luck!

Went to Myk's yesterday so we can work on activating and verifying my paypal account. Verifying paypal accounts in the Philippines without a credit card is very tedious. But thankfully, Myk's persistence, along with his web savvyness paid off. I now have a verified paypal account, thank you very much!

As usual, I camwhored while he was laboring over the procedures on how to get my account verified. Took some photos of the epic snacks we had yesterday including a box of ichigo mochi. It was the best mochi I have ever tasted. Oh wait, it's actually the first mochi I have ever tasted. But anyway, it's still superb!

a tray of delicious ichigo mochi

 It was so amazingly fluffy that I can't help squeezing and touching it right before eating. Showing my fangs because of utter delight!

 

Took a bite and realized if I squeeze it just like so, the silky jellied strawberry inside looks like a heart. Fwa fwa mochi!

And its nice cupcake wrapper!

Also opened a box of fortune cookies. I don't really like eating fortune cookies but I like reading the fortunes inside. I don't know who makes these stuff but I don't think fortunes are similar with quotes or advices. But nevertheless, they were quite helpful! And accurate too!

my fortune

 Myk's fortune

Guess what we found selling in San Fernando's night food market?

Takoyaki! I miss eating these. And until now, my small town is left in the dark as to the awesomeness of these little octopus-filled balls. Unfortunately, they weren't half as good as those sold in Baguio. Pickled ginger, nori flakes and bonito flakes are missing! My taste buds don't really care much for takoyaki balls drowned in cheese.

So that's it for now. I'm gonna go and get a bit more sleep before a busy week starts again. Have a great weekend everyone!